So we finally have the Red Sox game on, and I’m very happy about it, especially since we’re winning. True, we’re beating my childhood team, but I love me some Red Sox. Especially Papelbon. Who will not be pitching tonight, because we are beating the crap out of the poor Orioles, so we don’t need him to do his thing.
My teammate and I are actually going to a game together in September – this very same pairing, in fact. I have fantastic seats behind home plate. This is what happens when you’re blind. You get cool seats. Okay, so you pay a bunch of money for them, but you get cool seats. Also, you get a fabulous dog.
Sometimes I run into these faith healer types on the bus or whatever, and they tell me quite seriously that when the Rapture comes, the blind will be able to see. Of course, I don’t much care about how I do or don’t see, so I tell them that I don’t want any Rapture, because I want to be able to keep this awesome dog with me wherever I go, and if I can see, I won’t be able to do that. They get very flustered and go away.
I think a guy named Felix Pie just struck out. Isn’t that a fantastic name? The Mets have a pitcher named J.J. Putz, and that just slays me. Win or lose, they’ve still got a guy named J.J. Putz on their team. And we have the Papelbuns. So I think we come out ahead there.